Despite the difficulties, longings, and need for patience........ I feel lucky that I at least have identified my needs, that I would like to be with a guy, and that I'm past the insecurities that prevented me in the past from even wanting to go on a date with a guy. For that, I am thankful.
This glimmer of hope, for a stable, normal, homosexual relationship is what keeps me sane... I should keep this in mind before going down the path of mindless hookups,, which would be potentially destructive.
I think about how heterosexual guys in college feel, with all these women around wanting to have sex. I never had that feeling, but I'm now starting to have that lust... and it makes me a bit nervous b/c I don't want to be promiscuous, but at the same time, my hormones and need for intimacy are screaming at me...
So, i continue with patience, with my head on straight... so I keep my center... I pray for a real relationship sometime in the near future..
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I am starting to build toward this enthusiasm to seek out a stable, healthy relationship with a man. I am starting to meet real guys that I could see myself with, which gives me hope that I do in fact have a future in this odd world.
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