A Good Cyber-Breakup

I did what I had to do. I did end the online romance. I had to downgrade it to a friendship. I feel sorrow in my heart, but I think it is for the best.  We both admitted that it was an impossible situation, living thousands of miles apart.  I was more willing than he was to create reality from the fantasy.  I learned quite a few things though.  Despite the on-line nature, I did learn about love, communication, respect, and open-mindedness.  I also tasted just a bit of what it would be like to be in love with a man.  It felt good.  But in this situation, it was no sustainable.  We both held onto the fantasy until boredom set in, at least on my end.  He was half-expecting this to happen.... my getting bored, moving on.  I felt cheap and sick of the pornography.. made me feel disgusting and dirty.  I was tired of going to bed so fucking late, eating into my productive days.  I was putting so much energy into a relationship that would only be "internet relationship".  The thing that is interesting about this, is that I can point to the exact moment, or series of moments, that this started to go downhill for me.  This provides me courage that listening to my conscience is actually a good thing. In a way, I have had my first successful break-up ever in my life.  Wow.  Despite it being cyber in nature, we parted as close pals, understand eachothers' points of view.  Fuck. That has never happened to me.  In past relationships with women, I cannot identify or even communicate my needs or reasons, which results in my running away.  This time was different: it gave me a taste of the good that can come from being honest with yourself and others.... and still do so in a loving and caring manner.