Getting Tired of This Shit

I just don't get it.. Sometimes I feel like I missed the fucking gay memo on where all the action is; how are people meeting each other? I'm giving the fuck up. But I don't want to give up, because I want to be loved, and give love. I hate this. All the cliches about 'oh you'll meet somebody', blah blah blah are total fucking bullshit in the gay world. How can the rest of my life feel so fulfilling, and this very important part, although sexuality is just a small part of my life... it does pervade into other parts.. I mean, I know that i have other parts of me that make up my personality and hobbies, and spirit.. but it's the sexuality component that leads to the relationships, the families, the feeling connected to somebody in a very special way. and THAT is what I fear I don't know how to find, if I'm going about it right, if there even is a WAY to go about it, and how the fuck to stop worrying about it if there is indeed nothing I can do about it.. ... So, i can go for an entire 10 days or so, and not be horny, think about sex, or think about that other neglected side of me. Then, when I get tired after a long day, it's ALL I can think about. What is it about this struggle that drives me so crazy? Honestly, I have absolutely no control over this situation. except I could go to bars. by myself. and not give a shit. that takes some serious BALLS. So, I guess I haven' tried EVERYTHING, but I have just tried everything within my comfort zone. I really start to get envious when I see other gay guys out there, who may have 1/2 as much to offer as I do, in terms of compassion, smarts, and good looks.. and they are the ones in the relationship. Why the fuck is this so hard, and why can't I get a date? Find guys? Find friends to go to bars with, at least? I am TIRED of feeling ISOLATED.