Insights from Medications: Pre and Post

After I resigned myself to again taking a small dose of medication every other day, I can already tell a difference in my mental state.  Even though I can also feel a difference in my sexual drive, only within 6 days of starting a dose that is 1/4 of what I took before.. I must say that having a quieted, non-racing mind all day may be worth the slightly less libido. A few things I have noticed... first, I'm able to take on and enjoy my hobbies, still with creativity and perseverance.. at the same time, triggers which would have last week set me into a downward spiral, seem to slide off my back, which is a great feeling of empowerment.  The fear of being less creative and less focused without medications was a false prediction.... Although my creativity was in high gear, my feelings and goals were more erratic. In contrast, now I feel more focused, grounded, and relaxed.. and this is just at 10mg every other day, which ends up being thus far a nice balanced dose. So despite my pride of being off medications, I realize that this past summer, with no medications, my emotions were more erratic, I fell back into bad habits again, and my emotions were more prone to be affected by my environment. Now, although I could most likely survive without the medications, it comes with a price: it takes much more energy and behavioral change to stave off the anxiety and depression. With the medications, it becomes almost effortless, and as a result, can focus my energies on career, relationships, success, and quality of life.