How Do I Live As a Spiritually and Mentally Healthy Homosexual?

I woke up this morning, in fear of a trap into which I have fallen: short-term sexual gratification.  The Yahoo Messenger has become an addiction; those men behind the user names, those words of promise and lust spoken from those faces unknown have become my false hope, rooted in fantasy and lust.  This longing has no root, no foundation, which leaves a desolate, haunting feeling in my heart. I fear it as a trap. I know it as a trap.  The computer becomes a security blanket at night, as I nestle into bed with Yahoo Messenger, with a night cap of a shot of whiskey..... i seek comfort in this pseudo-world, full of falsehoods.  I see that each man is striving for that companionship, a lust misdirected.  We use lies to protect our age, pseudonyms to protect our identity.  We speak the words of love as we are in our moments of ecstasy, only to abandon our fantasy-lovers at the final hour.  It is a weak existence.  A weak, yet tempting existence that we harbor late at night, as our temptations and lust runs deep, our animal instincts for sexual gratification heighten, most especially with the protection of anonymity.  It is true that Man sinks to these vices in response to a longing to be fulfilled. We use these as replacement for the true love we seek.  The question becomes: how do we break out of a cycle which seems so impossible? How to seek true homosexual love, which most likely begins in the "darkness", behind closed doors, from our so-called liberal society? Inherent in homosexuality is a darkness, which runs opposite of Christian tenets of belief.  We are taught to bring love into the light, turn away from darkness, live our life in celebration and in communion.  I know, from experience, that bringing love into the light, and living an open life.. is much healthier, much more fulfilling.  So, how are homosexuals in search of a healthy love supposed to work within a framework of an underground homosexual society? It evades me.