Monday, November 7, 2011

I Was In a Closet Said The Gay Man

I reflect back on the original objective and goal of my blog.... which is below...

I am confronting the terrifying question: “Am I Gay"? Unbeknownst to me, this figurative closet enclosed me years ago. I start this blog in hopes of moving toward a greater sense of peace and clarity. With the exception of some random stories interspersed as comic relief, enclosed are the anecdotes of my standing, lingering, crying, praying, yelling, and laughing through this closet we call “gayness”. I hope these stories will entertain, provoke, and inspire.


Over the past 3.5 years, I feel confident that I have reached a sense of peace and clarity about my sexual orientation. I am indeed gay, and have reached a sense of satisfaction and relief.  This transformation necessitated moving through some excruciating, yet important, stages. Interestingly I seemed to have moved through many of these stages rather quickly, the latest one being my 'teenage promiscuity' stage, one that my therapist insightfully referred to as my '35 year old teenage phase'. Indeed, my need to hook up and explore was part of that phase of my life which I did not experience....... I have also graduated through many phases apart from that one, including feeling comfortable going on dates with gay men.  In my mind, I have reached a pattern of 'normalcy' which makes me feel much more confident in who I am, and who I am still becoming, and I am grateful for all support from friends I have had along the way.
 
Although I end this particular 3.5 year chapter of 'uncertainty and fear' with a sense of hope, my next chapter is not necessarily unique to just gay men... the chapter of dating.  To me, I think that the issues I now deal with are not gayness or 'coming out' unique, which is part of my primary reason for this being my last blog entry, at least of *this* blog.
 
The title of this entry says it all: "I Was In A Closet Said the Gay Man", the concise and direct answer to the question asked a few years ago "Art Thou In a Closet, Sayeth the Str8 Man".  And that is all.

1 comment:

  1. Wow I can't believe it's been that long already. I feel like I just started reading this blog yesterday! Congratulations on moving on to a new phase of your life. If you do start a new blog, be sure to put another entry here (Yeah, a FINAL FINAL entry) so that we can continue to follow. Thanks for sharing your stories and insights to gays and straights alike.

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