Back In the Game: Observations in the Gay Online Culture

I have new hope for the dating game, the hunt, if you will.  Having set my location and zip code for my new city, I see a new set of faces with potential.  I have learned some tricks about the online dating scene..... especially who to avoid.  Some of the rules I'll play by to hunt for a genuine date or new friends:

• Do not bother emailing guys who do not spend any time on their profile (interests,etc) no matter how hot they may be. 
• Avoid guys who have their bare chested body as their primary photo....  
• Look at their friends and their profiles to see if they seem legitimate. 

You can screen certain people out simply by looking at the photo.. Sadly, this is true.  But, it may also be helpful to avoid all the "male sluts" (for lack of better term), as well as least tell if you could be remotely attracted to the guy before you communicate with them.

After 9 months of skimming ads for guys, I think I have seen it all.. and can categorize them pretty easily..... Gay men come in all shapes, sizes, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.  The general public (or homophobics) would be surprised to see very handsome masculine guys on these websites, who seem genuine and want to be in a relationship.  For me, this is very encouraging, and gives me hope.

Another thing that I have experienced in my coming out process is less fear of rejection... I am willing to put myself out there, and not worry about the outcome as much.  In the past, my fear of rejection was tied into the failure to get aroused by women... which made it extremely difficult to face rejection and stand up for myself.

For that latter insight, some would argue that I could possibly be attracted to women still, but could "work out my issues on physical intimacy" to increase my self confidence around women.  In theory, this sounds great. In practice, though, I know my fantasies and sources of arousal....... and these can't be 'worked on".. for I would argue they are innate...