Feelings Rooted In a Fantasy World

As I gain distance after I removed myself from that potentially destructive relationship, I also gain perspective and objectivity.  First, I realize that I did have true feelings for him, despite the cyber-nature of our correspondence.  Furthermore, I am experiencing those feelings of loss associated with the hope that I placed into the relationship.  Second, I realize that my own idiosyncratic behaviors were in play in this relationship, as well as past ones.  I am struck by how easily I put aside my own principles and emotions for the good of the other person. I have suffered from this behavior countless time in the past.  But this time, in contrast to the past, I was able to identify these sacrifices, weigh them, and honestly state my feelings without fear.  Perhaps I did so fearlessly given the buffer zone of a chat room. For example, I never had the face-to-face interactions.  This protection of anonymity can be dangerous: we say things in a world of fantasy which may not ring true in reality.  How do I know whether I am saying these things to please the other person? Even worse, how many times did I say things in order to elicit a response, to satisfy a selfish pleasure?  In the cyber-world, these nuances of communication do not reveal themselves.  Truths remain hidden.  Your fantasies of one another become the basis of a relationship, and whether feelings and intentions are rooted in fantasy or reality remain murky, at best.  I thank God for my sense of intuition, to save me from these situations which could be self-destructive.  I now find myself in a better place... going to bed early, rising early, completing my projects and daily tasks to move my life forward.