I Really Want To Take This Blog a Few Steps Further....... Publish....

I want to take sections of this blog and publish.... but I'm overwhelmed by so many of the themes presented, I would not even know where to begin. How to I begin to sort through? What would my book be called? What would be the goal of my book? I think that is where I would need to begin. First, skimming through the whole blog; and becoming familiar again with the emerging themes.. this will speak to what the 'goal' of my book would be. Also, would I write the book with a pen-name, or my real name? Most likely a pen-name; and then I would share the book with people I did know as I felt comfortable. I mean, I read back to some of the insights, emotions,,, I have experienced, and it's pretty unbelievable to see all that I have been through.. all of my thought processes, my worries, my ups and downs, my hopes, my insights, my dreams, my insecurities, my misconceptions, my homophobia, my unfounded fears, my prejudices, stereotypes, my own transgressions....  I feel like I need to tell my story, but how do I get a handle on so much diverse material? Maybe the first thing I can do is go through my blog and chart the main 'themes' of what is being presented... themes that would be common to many guys my age coming out.... .. then go from there.. I think that maybe the book would have to be a reflection of the reflections... as opposed to putting them straight into the book. The passages would need to be quoted examples of what I am trying to portray. The book would be a 'in retrospect'.....  I'm not sure who I would contact first about this idea.. but I think I could put a lot of my energies spent on worrying about my lack of dating... into working on a project like this which would not only give 'closure' to my situation, but also provide hope for others, as well as educate others about the plights of a gay man in a society in which we live... a guy who nobody would have suspected... and all of the thoughts and tribulations, that have been experienced, the frustrations, and how to figure out and make heads and tails of each situation.... nobody seems to understand how difficult it is to be gay.. and the forces of society tugging at us in all directions, and we must be strong enough to be ourselves and be OK with it. The number and the type of emotional struggles and worries I have had have been countless. I wish I could write a book that explains how difficult it is to be gay and come out....