Does God Really Care Which Christian Religion is Best?

As part of my new journey, I am searching for a new church.  I sometimes ask myself why I am doing this.. why do I put myself through yet another transition? Well, I feel a momentum to explore more things, to break out of my mold, to see what else is out there that could move my spirit perhaps in a more natural, grass-roots type of way.  Right now, the Catholic church to me feels formal, stale, heterosexual.  Although I do value the spiritual disciplines that I have gained from my most recent faith growth the past 2 years, I do not envision myself growing anymore as a contributing member... mostly because the whole "Catholic" social networks are geared toward heterosexual couples, and dating, and young adult groups... that just do not provide me with hope any longer. The whole "Catholic" thing, as a package, just creates sometimes a negative visceral response, associated with the resentment I harbor toward not being about to reconcile, in myself, the double standards in the Church.  I also cannot stand the intellectualizing of homosexuality, building a theology around homosexuality in order to promote their beliefs... which just have no basis in the roots of the human spirit or homosexuality.

So, I continue my journey. I went to a local community non-denominational church last week, and enjoyed the structure.  This week, I will venture into the Metropolitan Community Church, which sponsors the LGBT Center, and definitely is geared toward the gay community. I am a little nervous, to say the least, but just very eager to explore what it has to offer.  The next churches may include the Episcopalian churches around town, but I may then go back to the first bible church.. which felt vibrant, young, and energetic.

I thank God for my exposure to the Bible during the last couple years with my Catholic group. Without that, I would not have gained this appreciation of the Bible verses, small group studies, and speaking with other non-Catholic Christians about God's Word, and how it has affected me in so many ways. This has led me to explore other Christian religions.

A few things I am looking for in a church include a) active young adult / singles ministry; b) no hidden agendas or anti-homosexuality beliefs; c) social justice and community service opportunities; d) good music ministry; e) small group faith groups; f) other social outlets like men's breakfasts or weekly social gatherings or prayer times.

When I do finally find a new home to practice my Christian faith, I will consider to still go to Mass on Holy Days, Easter, and Christmas... in order to tap into those familiar feelings of rituals, sacraments, and old-world wisdom that does still appeal to me in many ways.  But, saying that, I need to spend a majority of my time in a more vibrant young community who can serve God in a more open and liberal way.

Although a few weeks ago I was feeling guilty about leaving the Catholic Church... which was odd anyhow... I am feeling much better about it now.  Why would one feel guilty about leaving the Church? It really has a hold on me,, perhaps because I have revered it in a way for so long, and really did strive to be a part of this structure and please God , family, and friends in this way.

I still want to hold onto my meditation and journal rituals, relying upon Thomas Merton and Henri Nouwen, and an occasional mass during the week for communion, or Holy days of obligation.  But for now, I need to chart this path. I should not feel bad about this. It's not like I'm casting away my belief in God, and the need to look toward Jesus as a good leader, person, and example.. Does God really care which Christian religion is best? I do not think so.