What is More Gay Than Serving on a Halloween Committee?

Well, it's my morning to catch up on my personal spiritual writings.. Coming to you live on a rainy, dark Saturday morning with a hot cup of coffee and a hearty bowl of oatmeal, I have no deep insights. Despite this, I do have updates. I have a new 'friend' I am corresponding with over email, we met during a failed hookup attempt while I was on vacation in another city... instead of hooking up, we talked and sent emails to each other for hours on end, and got to know each other. We have been in touch ever since, texting each other 3 or 4 times a day; having Skype sessions, and sharing dreams of how we will in a few weeks be together for a long weekend vacation.  This has been such a new development, such a novel and exciting experience, I haven't even had a chance to sit down and reflect about it. Several things, though, is that I do have a comparison from a previous 'online escapade' from which to draw, so that I can at least protect myself, emotionally, while seeing where this thing goes. Of course, since I have this major attraction to college dudes... he is in college. And since he has a major attraction to older guys (i.e: i'm not that old, only a young 36), it seems to work out for the best.  I admit I'm totally obsessed with him, and always look forward to our next texts, and next Skype. A good sign, esp. compared to my first online friend, is that we are both up for meeting each other in a 'neutral' city, so to speak, for a few days.  We've also briefly spoken about how we are going to 'see how things go' once we meet.. which, in my mind, translates into making sure we 'click' before even deciding if we want to date, or if we are even compatible.  I think this is a healthy approach, and it sure beats my long distance pal in Canada who was not even willing to Skype me, let alone receive a phone call... So, I am making some progress. This new friend felt it was a good sign that I wanted to commit to a trip to visit him, and we are very excited.. especially about the things we have in common with respect to travelling, camping, etc. We have this energy that I can at least sense from our interactions thus far. Of course, I need to be aware that my own fantasies is most likely shaping what I perceive is taking place... A phenomenon which has occurred endless times during my online interactions, even when I have photos to figure out if I'm at least physically attracted.   He told me that one of the big reasons he's attracted to me is because we can carry on intelligent conversations with one another, which in my book, is a huge plus. I have this fear, which is not unfounded, or irrational, that once we meet, and after we have our initial 'sex-capade', we may run out of things to talk about, and/or I will start sensing the age differential which could change my whole view of this situation.  Age, in itself, to me is not the issue, it's the behavior and maturity that comes along with the age level that is important to figure out.  I wonder if college dudes who are attracted to older guys have a 'daddy' issue, or whether they truly are at a different maturity in order to appreciate older guys. Fuck, I have no idea. I'm probably over-analyzing again.

So, I guess I could say that I am making progress on multiple fronts within my new 'gay' life :)  My new friendships with some gay guys are starting to solidify and feel comfortable and meaningful; my networking in this city is leading me to group events that I would otherwise not have found out about without my obsessive online networking in this 'underground' gay society.  In fact, I am volunteering to serve on the committee for the big Halloween fundraiser, LOL. God help me. It may be a hoot becoming involved with all of this. At least my cave-man outfit will be becoming on me, given I already have the body hair to boot :)   Also, perhaps the gays will think I'm an impostor, given I have been told by a gay friend I could easily pass for straight..

All in all, I am having fun with this new life of mine. I am less anxious, and much more hopeful. I sense some adventures in the near future, and I'm intrigued with the idea of serving on a committee for a Halloween party. What is more gay than that? OMG. What a year this is going to be!!!