Where does the phrase 'take it with a grain of salt' originate? It's odd, but is relevant right now. It's a tough skill set for me.. taking things with a grain of salt... Maybe I'm even saying the phrase incorrectly. LOL. Anyhow, the online world is odd, and at this point, it's just par for the course when guys just drop out of sight; end their accounts and vanish. Also, it gets depressing when I pretty much have gone through all the guys on there, then I catch myself getting sad again.... it's the trap.......... now, the one guy that I have exchanged emails with back in forth; I have put my hopes into, and probably too much so. how do i not get my hopes up? how to have high hopes and low expectations?
I think I'm about to go into a dry spell again......it's so frustrating. First, I had 2 guys with whom I was corresponding; 1 completely disappeared; the other has dropped off a bit in writing; and I have these negative thoughts that the guy that i'm speaking with online has lots of options, and is getting all the emails from many other dudes, and i'm the struggling guy with not many people to hang my hat onto. I put too much stock and hope into these situations, which just ends up killing my hope if things don't work out. It's a ridiculous cycle,, which, if I'm not careful or mindful, tempts me back into the hookup train....
So, I need to remind myself over and over and over again: the other options for IN PERSON gatherings, including the monthly HRC happy hours; the monthly Bistro 303 happy hours; and my ongoing networking in the community with both straight and gay friends. One of these days.... one of these days... I really should try to concentrate on the positive and not get into my negative cycle.
And, I realize that my negative thoughts are exacerbated when I'm tired, and worn out.. So... the lesson here: hang tight, and take stock of the blessings in my life, and keep on exploring and making lemonade out of lemons.
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