I welcome my first weekend of freedom, to what I could refer to as my personal "sabbatical". My last day of work was last Friday; so I now have an indeterminate amount to time to figure out what is next. I sat at dinner tonight with my dog, eating a simple meal of couscous, red beans, salsa, corn, and a glass of red wine; with some Jack Johnson playing in the background. I'm trying not to focus on the negative, most of which is the unending sexuality issue; but the positive: new job, new places, new opportunities.
My parents had breakthrough last week: they both went to therapy to talk specifically about how to deal with my sexuality issues. I was relieved to hear my dad feel a sense of understanding of my situation, which was incredibly encouraging. Despite my gripes about my parents in a previous entry, I must admit I feel blessed that they do love me unconditionally and are taking the steps for therapy themselves, to really try to work through things. In the same 15 minute conversation, dad said 2 times how much they have been thinking about me, and working through some things. It sounded like they had some important insights from the psychiatrist, who has coached our whole family through many issues the past 30 years.
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Listening to Jack Johnson? Gayness confirmed. ;)
ReplyDeleteHa. This post makes me laugh because I'll never forget when my dad spoke with me over the phone with enthusiasm after learning the term 'bisexual' from the psychiatrist. Wow. I drove my parents to therapy for God's sake. It was actually endearing to have my dad talk to me about what he learned. I mean, he was more comfortable saying the word 'gay' than my mom. He even said the word twice in a conversation over lunch. Now that is what I call progress!
ReplyDeleteI had a dream a couple weeks back that I was living with my mother in the home of my parents psychiatrist. It was pretty symbolic.... and amusing enough at this point that I told my dad the story, and he had a good laugh. My dreams are so telling. I am on a journey to find my own psychiatrist, as opposed to my parents. I think it has more to do with my own comfort zone, and disclosing to a 3rd party that does not know every dynamic about me and my family. In a way, a family psychiatrist offers many insights. But, in this case, I think I would rather chart my own territory. The stakes are too personal.
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