Zigman Has A Homo Crush

One of the challenges of coming out is developing an accurate enough GayDar by which to rely upon in order to find somebody else who is gay apart from the online and meetup.com venues whose purpose is to bring together gay men and women.  I have an interesting dilemma, in which I would like to ask a man out for beer, both because I would like to get to know him as a friend, but also because I think he is cute.  In the heterosexual world, it is usually straight (pun unintended) forward in your intentions on a date.  If a man likes a woman, the man asks the woman out, brings them on a date, and asks for a second date.  What about if a man likes a man, but neither knows for sure if the other is gay? Should one bring it up in conversation about being gay? Or should it just be implied as the relationship develops naturally?  I am uncertain of these dynamics.  All I know is I like this man, and I would like to get to know him better. He is cute, smart, attractive, funny, polite, thoughtful, and friendly.  He is conscientious, a hard worker, and an all around good man.  If my Gay Dar is working OK, I think he is gay.  Although I have only known him for a few days and interacted a handful of times, I am intrigued and drawn to him in many ways.  And, like what happens with a crush, I have butterflies, feel foolish, feel afraid of rejection, and feel I have the tendency to put my foot in my mouth.  I also find myself thinking about him, and wanting to talk to him more.... given his friendly nature, and the fact he is a hottie.  For sure, these attractions are demonstrating my gayness.  I should be rejoicing in this truth, rather than being nervous.  But, because of the interesting dynamics of gayness, personal boundaries, and norms...... breaking the subject could be a very risky thing.  I guess the thing to do when I have the courage, and it is appropriate, would be to speak about my own issues with sexuality, and create a safe space. 

Journey... to be continued..... 

Zigman