Tracing my Etiology of Gayness

My dad and I had lunch the other day, and we had a good chat about my sexual identity issues.  My dad is totally cool with it.  He tried to explain the difference between the counseling for "coming out" versus the counseling for "figuring it out".  He said it would be good to see somebody that could help me trace the "etiology" of my development, so I could at least know how and why things went the way they did. His suggestion made me pause, and think... huh.. that's actually a good idea. I have done this in my journal, but have not verbalized. For example, I can remember exact moments and emotions throughout childhood... in extreme detail... that pointed me toward that curiousity of males.  At times, it was strong. Many times, I did not feel like I fit in.  So, I am eager to explore these paths out loud.  The list in my journal can come alive once I speak of it to a counselor, and perhaps I will be on a journey of coming to terms with who I am.