Wow. My parents just do not get it. "You don't want to go to a therapist who specializes in coming out if you are not sure"... Blah, blah, blah. Hello!! I am sure people. Fuck. How much more obvious could it be. I come out to you all, now I have to fucking justify everything to you? what the hell. Then I have to do what you tell me for December and not travel around the country b/c I need to be in therapy? Who the fuck are you people? Why are you running my life? So, yes, I need therapy, but more for dealing with how to deal with my parents. That's what it is.
I do not know how much more clear I could be. I am gay. At this point, I want to be. I don't want to be with women. I want to be with guys. It makes me feel better, makes me feel more whole.
God DAMN it. This is it. I feel like shutting them out of my life just to figure this out myself. They have no business meddling and micromanaging my psychotherapy. I'm not going to share things with them anymore. This is just so fucking maddening.
I don't know what to do except defy my parents.
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Intense stuff, Ziggy. I love the liberal use of F-bombs. Yes, you must 'defy' your parents, but at this point in your life, it's not defiance anymore, because they don't run your life.
ReplyDeleteParents will never change. They aren't the ones who know what's best for you anymore, but they will always think that they are. As of age 30, I was still being reminded by my mother to use the bathroom before I leave the house.
Getting angry at our own parents is pointless, because they'll just never get it. Be ready to do what's best for yourself, with or without their support. Cheers.
Jeez. This was intense shit. I am glad that these feelings have come and gone. My parents are pretty cool with things now. I would say they are still concerned, because they love me, but I have no need for heated battles or arguments because I am well past that. Again, another passage of living and learning. The coming out process has so many of these rites of passages, and 'packets' of emotion that pop up unexpectedly. These were the turbulent months... I feel like now, in comparison, I am smooth sailing.
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