What Do I Do Now?

I'm distraught... what the hell. What am I doing? How could I have gone for all these months thinking I would like it, and now it disgusted me so much I wanted to puke and go into a panic attack. This is SO fucked up. I  am crying now, sobbing..... what the hell.  What do I do now? I mean, seriously...... is all of this just a fucked  up notion I have.... I thought I was this, now I'm not... and I just went through all that shit for nothing? just thinking about what happened and what I did makes me feel dirty, gross, and fuck... it was so gross. I couldn't even get turned on... The same thing that happened with women..... This was totally opposite of anything and everything I had been fantasizing about. Am I still gay? Am I straight? Am I asexual? Do I just have performance anxiety? If I'm not gay, what do I do about all the people I told? What if I don't get erections for ANYBODY? How could I have strong fantasies for men, and then not work? Is it just because it's a hook up instead of a relationship/friendship? Jesus. This just confuses me MORE. ... Maybe it all has to do with anxiety during sexual intimacy... is that what this is ALL about? I mean... going through hell for 3 years to figure out that it's just some emotional issue, detached from anything sexual? Oh my God. I don't know whether to be relieved, panic, explore more, go into a hole, cry, or yell.  I better take my anxiety meds and go for a walk. God, i want to throw up.