Ugh... navigating the line of friendship vs. more

Back when I was living in the straight world, I would have crushes on women, ask them out, and if they only wanted to be friends, I would just never talk to them again. I was obviously totally insecure with myself... and this 'all-or-nothing' approach seemed to work for me, especially since I was on the hunt for a girlfriend. Why waste my time? Well, in the gay world, I don't want to do this.. In fact, making platonic friendships with gay men was something I wanted 3 years ago, and almost wanted this more than dating.. so that I could at least get used to being around gay guys, being 'out', and feeling comfortable. So, zoom forward to current times.. I'm now comfortable being out, and I'm actually going out to coffee, and dates, with guys, and have really enjoyed myself. The trick, though, is... if the other guy shows a sign of genuine platonic friendship, and is not interested in being romantically involved... to what extent can I just be friends if I had a big crush? Well..... this is where communication comes in.. where you either have to hope that the other person sucks it up and expresses their boundaries, or I have to actually say something (which I tend to avoid); or.... I end up playing this cat-and-mouse game where I am hoping they want to be more than friends, so I'll email them, and try to be more than friends. and end up fucking everything up. So, what it comes down to is... I need to better navigate the line between friendship and relationship with new gay male friends I meet.... and it's tough. I think the best way to do this is to be honest with my own intentions first...... before I reach out to another person through email, etc......  It's difficult for me to be attracted to friends who I want more than just friends. I usual reaction is to just drop the friendship in order to avoid the feelings.... BUT.. I think this is not a good thing to do, especially when 2 gay friends I have recently met, who just want to be friends, really enjoy my company... so I should not ignore that, but should foster that instead... but keep it at a comfortable level with sufficient boundaries so everybody is comfortable.