God I am having a horrible week with setting my boundaries.. feeling a bit manic and a bit out of touch with my center..... Starting off with a wonderful time with a work pal tonight, having a few beers.... then made it home, only to decide to meet up with some random dude for a makeout session.. then... lo and behold, I feel gross afterwards. imagine that. It only took 3 beers and I was almost drunk. goes to show my tolerance level....
............... feeling like total ass right now, and should have NOT done this tonight.
Fuck, I promised myself to complete my lecture notes for the students by Friday afternoon.. not meeting my professional obligations. not a good thing. Meeting with realtor early in the morning for house inspection. will take most of the morning.
You know what they say.. you have a problem when things start to interfere with your professional goals and obligations.. Maybe it's time to check in again.. with the shrink.
This weekend will be re-center, work, solitude, re-pent, purify, exercise, prayer and church... and.... back to counselor a little earlier than expected.
Is it a combination of things? the nice weather makes me a bit impulsive, the alchohol, the feeling of liberation of my gayness.. and perhaps the added stress of a lot on my plate, as well as my decreased medication regimen dose. Something needs to change..... and quickly.
These bad nights make me want to become a monk.
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