Jumping through the hoops of being a newly out gay guy is a difficult but exciting challenge. I joke to myself that any cute gay guy my age that does not have a ring on his finger or a gal by his side is a candidate for friendship and maybe more. Of course, I may set myself up for disappointment, but I think the worst thing that could happen is that I end up being surrounded by good looking straight guys with whom I can be pals.
That indeed is not a bad side effect, but it does not bring me to the ultimate goal: finding potential dates, and then seeing what happens. It's an odd dynamic now, because I actually find myself with 'potentials'. I am hanging out with a guy for coffee next Monday. I think he is really handsome and intelligent. So, what the challenge now, as I start to go out with gay guys, is to be completely honest with my intentions.. both to myself, and the other person...
I am tempted to just go out on dates and get to know people as I get to know more people in the city. There is a new twist to all this dating / getting to know people business: is that you do not know whether the man is gay or straight unless you a) meet them through match.com; b) know through word of mouth; c) have them mention they have a girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend. I guess even c) is not fool proof, because I have an ex girlfriend.
There is somebody I have a crush on and am wondering if he is gay. ugh. how does one tell? My gay-dar has failed me in the past....... am I wrong, or evil, to pursue a friendship in hopes that a man is gay? and then just guard my heart until I know what the deal is?
I must say, it's pretty fucking liberating to be excited about my sexuality; and have some hope there could be some men out there that are my type. It makes me much more at ease with my 'situation', and gives me hope. This hope spills into joy and peace into other parts of my life, which then results in positive feedback loop of having wonderful people around me with whom I want to share my life. Not bad thus far. I am just curious about the gayness status of a few folks.. :)
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